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<title>Descent into the Shopping Mall by Glory_Of_Mars</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148162">Descent into the Shopping Mall</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glory_Of_Mars/pseuds/Glory_Of_Mars'>Glory_Of_Mars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Baldur's Gate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon, Canon Compliant, F/F, Funko Pop, M/M, Shopping Malls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:55:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glory_Of_Mars/pseuds/Glory_Of_Mars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mix up with the magical sigils inscribed in a nearby goblin village, our adventurers find themselves transported into an unfamiliar realm. A realm of over-priced plastic and the faint smell of Clorox on tiled floors is theirs to explore. The party finds themselves separated, but hardly in danger, as they set forth to traverse this strange plane. The narratives of time and space mean nothing in the shopping mall plane, and mysterious secrets lie in wait for our heroes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lae'zel &amp; Shadowheart (Baldur's Gate)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Descent into the Shopping Mall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Chapter 1: Astarion Can't Escape Hot Topic</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Astarion wandered into the dimly lit hovel. The words above the entrance were undecipherable and segmented blocks.  His footsteps were muffled by the spilled clothing on the floor. Nonetheless, the greeter, a person with long purple locks and enough flair to write an autobiography with, took a step forwards and addressed him</p><p>“Hi, welcome to Hot Topic, can I help you at all?” They said in a friendly tone.</p><p>Astarion turned wide eyed and gave a half-hearted smile. “Hot Topic? And that is referring to...?”</p><p>“... The store you’re in right now.”</p><p>“Ah, so, this is a store. Honestly, I thought it might be a hag’s lair just by the ambience.” He teased, gesturing upwards towards the flickering fluorescent light and visibly relaxing a bit.</p><p>“Hag’s lair? Is that a band? Or another store? Are you looking for anything from them?” </p><p>“Uh, no?”</p><p>“Alright, let me know if you need anything.” The greeter said, giving up on the interaction. </p><p>Astarion stared at them awkwardly for a moment and they attempted to look away.</p><p>A couple moments longer and he also gave up on any further dialogue, choosing to walk further into the store instead. The sound of MCR coming from the speakers filled the empty space, where a few teenagers milled about the clothing racks before shuffling out. </p><p>Astarion looked at the wall of designs, furrowing his brows at the many bright designs. He ran his hands over the polyester shirts stacked on the shelves and paused. Placing both hands on the shirts in front of him, he bent down and inhaled the Hot Topic dust musk, a scent that existed nowhere else in the outer planes or nine hells. </p><p>The greeter could not see the scene playing out but the raven-haired cashier looked up for a moment to watch.<br/>
Astarion scooped up as many Hatsune Miku Guitar Solo T-shirts as he could and piled them over his shoulder, continuing on to the band shirt racks. The images of a sun with striking blue eyes and a man in a lopsided crown stared down at the wandering vampire. Astarion reached a pale veiny hand out to feel the shirts, which had the same thin polyester make as the others slumped over his shoulder. He hefted a couple more over the opposite shoulder and moved on. With the four Queen + Adam Lambert shirts in tow, Astarion was beginning to catch the attention of the cashier, who bent over the counter with their phone, glancing upwards at him periodically.  </p><p>The rogue floated to the opposite wall and marveled at the short skirts and stocking that lined the walls, scanning the scanty stock with a raised brow . He walked away and became enraptured by the bright orange Naruto socks, taking two pairs and shoving them to his side between his belt and vest. </p><p>“Sir, do you need any help finding anything else?” Asked the greeter, who was now refolding stock, from behind him.</p><p>“No.” Astarion answered, giving them an intensely guilty glance before moving past them and gazing into the display. He paused and turned back.</p><p>“Actually, may I have a look at the jewelry you have here?”</p><p>“Oh sure, which ones do you want me to take out?”</p><p>Astarion looked to the case, full of a rainbow array of piercing items, and then to the two minimum wage employees who were unarmed.</p><p>He produced a dagger and pointed it at the greeter.<br/>
“All of them, if you would, love.” He purred</p><p>The attendants glanced to each other and the cashier shrugged. </p><p>“Do you want them in a bag?” They asked, eyeing the silver knife.</p><p>Astarion mulled it over for a second, seemingly taken aback by their apathy.<br/>
“Alright. That would make it easier.”</p><p>The cashier pulled out a hot topic plastic bag that gleamed under the shoddy fluorescents. They gave the bag to the greeter, who opened the case with a key and began filling the dark sack with the different metals.</p><p> Astarion wandered to the pin bin. The glittering flair reflected in his eyes and the cashier pulled out several more bags.<br/>
“For those too?”<br/>
“Read my mind.” He cooed back happily, shooting a smile at them. </p><p>A couple moments later, after being loaded with the multiple clinking bags of goodies, Astarion started on his way out, but he took a sudden pause. </p><p>There on the shelf, lined along a vast array of soulless, doe-eyed miniature statues, was a FUNKO THE SIMPSONS TREEHOUSE OF HORROR POP! TELEVISION VAMPIRE KRUSTY VINYL FIGURE.</p><p>Astarion's mouth went agape and he looked back to the cashier. </p><p>“Take it. It’s twenty percent off anyway.” They said languidly.</p><p>Astarion fumbled with balancing the bags, socks, and t-shirts but managed to grab the FUNKO THE SIMPSONS TREEHOUSE OF HORROR POP! TELEVISION VAMPIRE KRUSTY VINYL FIGURE and placed it in one of the bags, taking a moment to admire the little treasure.</p>
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